The Amateur Photograph

The eye is the eye of a forger,

The brow is the brow of a thief,

        The mouth and the nose

        Alike disclose

A wickedness past belief.

‘Tis a visage that proves its owner

A man of the basest stamp,

        I haven't a doubt

        That he rides about

At nights without a lamp,

Or travels without a ticket,

Or visits music halls;

        His expression shows

        That he often goes

To Covent Garden balls.

And – but what is that you are saying?

Ah, horror! Can it be

        That this shocking disgrace,

        With its Hooligan face,

Is an excellent likeness of me!

First published in Fun Magazine, March 2, 1901